Runish Musings – 06/18/2019
Wisdom comes from many sources. Shakespeare wrote “This above all, to thine own self be true.” This then begs the question, who am I? The Oracle at Delphi has carved into it, “Know thyself.” The vastness of knowledge in the universe should begin with knowledge of self. Humans are born and assigned a gender at birth. At first breath, expectations are established based on prescribed societal constructs. Often, there is a disconnect between what is expected and what actually occurs. We should know ourselves. How can one not know one’s self? Fear can cause humans to seek comfort in ignorance. To go along and get along is the societal motto. Do great things, within the boundaries of what society says you should do. The role of the spiritual warrior is to trust in the struggle for awareness and through being radically alone and unattached to outcomes, develop freedom from anxiety becoming mindful that what matters is to exist in the present moment. The emphasis must be on the journey and not on the destination.
Asking a direct question when consulting an Oracle provides answers, but the passivity of the role one takes on when asking directly takes the ownership of one’s process away. But asking the Oracle to reveal enlightenment on an issue allows one to extract one’s own answer and determine for one’s self the right course of action going forward.
02/18/2008. A few months prior to my departure from the Washington, D.C. metro area; I did a reading of the Runes. Runes are an oracle of Scandinavian descent; a mirror for the magic of knowing our selves. In modern treatise on the Oracle, the author compares to the Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 6, verse 5)
Lift up the self by the Self
And don’t let the self droop down,
For the Self is the self’s only friend
And the self is the Self’s only foe.*
*The term self is used to represent the little self or ego-self, and Self to signify the Higher Self, the Divine Within.
What a fancy and beautiful way of saying that humans can either be their own best friend or worst enemy. In my defense, I already knew that, but as with many things that are true about me, I take my time in evolving. At the time, I chose to perform a Destiny Profile reading in which I asked the Oracle to reveal enlightenment for the following question: “What do I need to know for my life now?” It is interesting, that after the selection of stones; I simply documented the results and refused to look in the mirror and find out what was there. Holding up a mirror allows one to see the absolute true internal personality of the observer. But truth is frightening and I chose to not look. The answers within my own mirror remained unseen until 06/18/19; 4138 days.
I am in the midst of a great period of evolution. I know there are things the Universe is trying to communicate, but I have been overwhelmed with the quality of knowledge being acquired, that I simply had no energy left to examine the quality of knowledge. Very daunting the task of self-excavation. I decided to bring along the Oracle on my nature retreat in order to give myself a starting point. Following are the results of my introspective musings.
The task of the Destiny Profile is to define oneself, for oneself, in a manner that enables a relationship to oneself. In so doing, one uncovers who one truly is. The questions involved in the Destiny profile are only asked once in a lifetime; this flies in the face of American culture where you can try again until you receive favorable results. Much more challenging is to accept what is and to develop and evolve using what is as the basis for what will be. Acceptance and modification is foreign to a culture in which pursuit of the “fix” is the goal of the society’s escalator. The Destiny Profile is therefore a tool to be used to enact the art of letting go of the attachments to the past and expectations for the future. The goal being the empowerment of experiencing a true present.
The questions asked are thus:
- What is my nature? (The constellation of possibilities and impossibilities that contribute to my inner self )
Reversed Teiwaz (the Spiritual Warrior)
The journey of self discovery is a lengthy one. My entire life is going to be spent in the pursuit of enlightenment. It is worthwhile to note that there is no instantaneous epiphany which will solve every problem that I have. It will take time and effort to discover what I need to know. But the reversed rune urges caution that I must find the answers within myself, and not in outside advice. The reward of patience is patience. What I do know is that I need to develop confidence in the authenticity of my way of being in the world. Having heard the phrase “Well behaved women rarely make history.” I am inclined to concur that one does not arrive at enlightenment without a great deal of battle scars to show for it; and peaceful acquiescence does not generate the authenticity that I need in order to thrive. The expected “good girl” that was expected and molded and nurtured through painful rejection is not what I need now. The molding of my character calls me to action, being mindful that I must get out of my own way. The survival techniques I learned when I was a child and young adult, to deal with my immediate environment, unhealthy relationships and my physical limitations need to be examined and discarded as they no longer serve their purpose. In this case, I am not going to be so concerned with outcomes (goal oriented); instead I need to focus on the task, activity, or lesson for its own sake. Being in the moment and choosing to accept growth in whatever form that takes is an act of courage in the face of fear. The battle to become will continue as long as I continue to rise again.
- Why was I born? (What do I need to acquire in order to navigate my ideal passage through this life?)
Gebo (the Gift of Partnership)
The internal partnership of self to Self encompasses the gift of freedom within the unity. The path does not dissolve the self but encourages that the self join Self as part of another whole. A circle within a circle. True partnership of self with Self is achieved by becoming cognizant of what the Divine Self is teaching. I must learn to examine and listen to the internal dialogue. Frequently, I have not trusted the Self, and have sought council from others. As I am my own Subject Matter Expert (SME), I cannot continue to ignore the truths being whispered from deep in my subconscious. Outside entities cannot usurp the role of Self. They must remain separate and whole beings who retain their autonomy and separateness even as they unite with me. I must allow the flow of the universe to dance between my self and my Self. The tides of energy ebb and flow during this dance and must become an intricate web of wholeness and complementary but not identical energies. It is a delicate balance this internal dance. The fluidity of the movement must ebb and flow like the tides. A consequence of being successful in this internal dance is the effect on interpersonal relationships with humans. Being first one with my Self, I can then enter into temporary partnerships with others.
- What is my vocation? (How am I called to go through this life and what principles I must embody in my passage. Successful conduction of vocation satisfies “why was I born?” Learning to relate correctly to severe privation helps spiritual growth occur.)
Reversed Nauthize (Constraint-Necessity of Pain)
Sunshine is overpowering in its brightness. But the moon and the stars cast light on the shadows. Therefore, only in a moment of greatest darkness do we become aware of the light within and come to recognize the true creative power of the self. When something within is disowned, it causes havoc. Denial of Self and self to the point of erasure is painful. Coming back from the abyss is equally painful as the cleansing shines a direct beam on the darkness within. I have long suppressed many aspects of self. Most often I chose to actively suppress myself in order to please others. Shame, fear, disapproval, judgement. All of these things have been wrapped around my legs and arms chaining me to accepted societal construct and mores. In my attempts at personal growth, I am displeasing others and bringing judgement down on my head. It is uncomfortable and I receive looks of incredulousness or disdain as I “change” and evolve from the person they have always known to who I really am. Comments and criticism couched behind words of concern, “we just care about you.” Suppressing my true self allowed my personal character growth to be stunted. The time has come to realize that pleasing others cannot be my life’s vocation. Change does not happen over night and is not always pleasant. The work that needs to be done on myself cannot be done quickly. It will take time and effort and there will be hold ups in the process. The path of true love is not smooth. I must listen to my inner Self in order to become an active partner in our evolution. Life’s troubles and setbacks are teachers along the path. I cannot regret the lessons I have learned or the people I have met along the way. These have brought me to my present. I must absorb the pain of the past and gird my loins with the light from the shadows bringing forth knowledge with the intention of generating balance.
- What is my Destiny? (What is my ideal possibility? Spiritual destination but also confinement as a direct result of life’s limitations. Not all possibilities are open to me.)
Reversed Uruz (Strength – Terminations and New Beginnings)
Opportunity is disguised as loss. I am no stranger to adversity and loss. I have experienced limitations and understand that what on the surface seems possible, may after careful consideration not be feasible. In Nature, death, decay, fertilization, gestation and rebirth. To everything there is a season. I have had loss and challenges and painful experiences that at the time I believed stunted me. I felt stranded in wake of loss and felt bereft. I did not always take the high road and believe that life uses pain to teach lessons and encourage growth. Pain disciplines the spirit and serves as a reminder that one is still existing. I must now take serious consideration to the quality of my relationship with my Self. If I listen to my Self and agree to follow where I am being led, I must generate bravery. Constant cycles of death and rebirth and constant evolution. I must not draw back from the passage into darkness. Because it is from within the shadows that the Self whispers truth to those with ears to hear (and in my case emotional and intellectual ears not physical human ones. Not all possibilities are attainable, but if I focus and listen closely, I will find the ones that are.
- What is my cross? (The pattern of adversity that you must undergo in order to increase in self-awareness and self-rule. The cross is the price that must be paid for wisdom.)-
Isa (Standstill -Withdrawl)-
The dormancy of my spiritual life is no longer the dominant state of being. I have felt out of touch for a long time. Most of my adult life in fact, I have felt disconnected with what was going on around me. I made choices in those moments that allowed for the bare minimum of survival, but did not allow for visible growth or change. I did not realize that I was developing inside and gestating the inner me. It is worthwhile to note that the seed of the new, the see of the good and the seed of unrealized potential is present in the shell of the old. It has been difficult to trust my own process. I have felt dissatisfied and unsettled and restless waiting for my time. The price I must pay for the wisdom I have obtained has been time. Time heals wounds. Time produces wisdom. Time is finite; and is therefore a precious and valuable commodity. The self-awareness that I am embracing now was purchased with years of my life. I have spent time without thought. I have not been judicious in my time spending habits. I focused all my time on others or on thinks that were not going to better me as a person. At this moment, I am realizing that I am making decisions to better utilize my time. And in my relationships with humans, my most favored gift to receive is time. I value my own and I treasure theirs. I gain wisdom, but I have spent time. I no longer operate in ignorance and understand that time is fleeting. I must make the most of what I have been blessed to receive.
- What is my unified Self? (The qualities that will emerge in your life when your intellect and will begin to work in harmony with your physical being and heart.
Inguz – (Fertility -New Beginnings)-
I must fertilize the ground for my own deliverance. All things change and we cannot live permanently amid obstructions. Emerging from the chrysalis while painful, will also clear away the old resulting in a release from tension and uncertainty. I must leave the old self behind and embrace the new. Conformity to old behavioral patterns, culturally held belief systems that no longer serve the me that I am becoming, must be examined and discarded along the path as if chaff from the wheat. I must strive to become centered and grounded in my discoveries, freeing myself from unwanted influences and listening to the Self as it teaches me to generate harmonious balance and clarity in the joyful embarkment along a new path. Change is scary. Being brave is the act of moving forward in spite of the fear. I am learning to trust that not everything is going to be pleasant. Desired change, beneficial change and needed change… it doesn’t matter the motive behind it, or the initial prompt. What matters most is that I must accept the death of my old self and rejoice in the blooming possibilities of new beginnings. The pain of evolution and emerging from the chrysalis provides strength that the butterfly needs to survive the next cycle.
I am blessed to have spent the past 11 and 1/3 years gaining the knowledge and wisdom necessary to understand this profile. I am not who I was then, and I am not who I will be. But right now, I am me. I am present. I am listening. I am changing and growing.
Thank you for your patience.